Small Talk-Everyone starts at the bottom. Think about it—first meeting, first date = small talk! “Weather talk”, “you look nice”, “where did you get that shirt” kind of talk
Facts: After a few dates/weeks/months, imagine all the information you know about them-from how many brothers they have to their locker combination. TIP: Don’t’ confuse information with intimacy. In other words, just because you know ‘about them’ doesn’t mean you really ‘know’ them.
Ideas-Opinions- Here’s where it gets a little more difficult. Not everyone knows what you really think about some things—your opinions, your favorite kind of movies to your future goals, or your values—like do you value money or happiness more? Ask yourself: Are you comfortable sharing these things? Do you feel accepted when you do? Do you hold back because you feel like they might judge you, or just not like you?
Feelings and Secrets- Reserved for the rare few!! Are you afraid of spiders”, Insecure about your looks? Did you ever do something you are really ashamed of? Do you tell them if they hurt your feelings? Do you know any of these things about them? TIP: If you answered ‘kind of’ or sometimes, or a few things….you have not achieved what it takes to move on.
Ultimate Trust- This is the top! Best friends, closest family members, and yes, relationships can get here too---but it takes a long time, a lot of risk, time and real straight communication.
